Friday, November 30, 2012

Have you ever just collided into an instant friendship with someone you just met? I am talking about the kind of friendship only God can orchestrate? It happened to me about three weeks ago during my workout. It started with a simple “Hey, you want to be my partner?”, and from there God took over. The point I knew God was in this was on a Saturday. I posted a picture on Facebook of balloons being released during the closure service of the abortion recovery Bible study that I lead. A few moments later I got a text from my new friend asking what my picture was about. I gave her the short version of how when I was 16 I became pregnant and regretfully chose abortion and that God led me to the pregnancy center to find freedom through this Bible study and that now I lead the same Bible study that set me free from bondage and then I remembered that my new friend had mentioned she was adopted and I felt compelled to give her a message...one I believe to be true. Here is the text I sent her: “Last night, when you shared that you are adopted I couldn’t help but smile. You were and STILL are so loved by your birth mom. She chose life for you and I know her choice to give you more than she could at that time was the hardest and most heartbreaking one she has ever made. What a strong and courageous woman she must be”!


Now to the part that still has me blown away by God’s goodness and how He orchestrates. My friend’s birth mom and I were pregnant at the exact same time and due in the same exact time of the month of March. Coincidence….. I don’t think so. We both likely had the same struggles, yet we both chose differently. She had courage and strength and I didn’t.

My friend has been struggling for as long as she can remember with feeling unwanted, abandoned, unworthy, unaccepted, unloved, rejected, etc. My heart literally broke for her. I believe God breaks our hearts for what breaks His and this was truly breaking His heart. I know this was one of the main reasons God put her in my life; to encourage and minister to her. She has struggled for years believing something must be terribly wrong with her emotionally and mentally and she confided in me of her pain. There was just something in me that knew her struggles were not as she thought...that it must be common with those who are adopted so I researched emotional struggles of adoption and everything I read described her dead on. I sent her several links and let me tell you....bondage has been broken from this sweet girl. She is confident that this is the root of her lifelong struggles and feels a heavy burden has been lifted from her heart. She said to me the other night, “if my birth mom really did love me and really does still think about me then why hasn’t she tried to find me’? I then explained to her that had I chosen to carry Rylee and then placed her with another family but then years later decided I wanted to find her that I would be terrified of her reaction...that she would hate me and want nothing to do with me. I told her maybe someday she will be ready to search for the woman who gave her life. She isn’t ready yet but someday I think that just might change. Until then I will continue to minister to her and when she is ready I will share with her what her birth mom was likely going through when she found out she was pregnant with her; the emotions she felt, the likelihood that there were those around her who may have been trying to convince her that there were other options than carrying her. I will then remind her again what an amazing, strong, extremely selfless woman her birth mom must be....then and now. God is just beginning to write my young friend’s love story. He is turning her misery into a ministry. I am so thankful for her friendship. I could care less that she is 16 years younger than me. She lights up any room she is in, she has the most adorable personality and I am delighted to have her friendship. I can’t wait to see how her story plays out.

P.S. My friend gave me permission to share this and I am glad she did:)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

A New Creation In Christ

Once again I have experienced God claim four of his daughters back to Him, where they belong, fully and completely. Four women who are no longer in bondage, four women who are no longer suffocated by shame and guilt because that shame and guilt...are gone! Four women who were brave enough to face the shame of their past choice and bring it into His holy light of redemption where a forever healing took place. Four women who have allowed their heart to emotionally attach to their child in heaven. Four women who can now be used by Him fully and effectively to share of God’s true love and goodness and how His desire is to pour out His grace and mercy to all who have fallen short.
I know firsthand that this journey for these women was not always easy but it’s through this process I see concrete evidence of God drawing these women, His daughters, back into His perfect arms and once a person really knows what it feels like to be in His arms, and these women now know, they will never want to leave again for it’s in His arms that safety, love, contentment, belonging, and never-ending grace is found.
I just want to commend these women for trusting me but above all trusting God. Thank you for seeing this through and completing the race that was set before you. Now its on to the next race, whatever that might be. Let yourselves be used by your Father. You each have an amazing story of redemption to share whether it be to one person, small groups, large groups or just a stranger whom God may place in your path. I can promise you that there is nothing better or more fulfilling than being used by God. Remember what you have learned the past ten weeks because what you have learned will last for eternity. It’s Truth, plain and simple!
Now, go out and let your light shine bright! Love you all!
Kristi
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned: the flames will not set you ablaze”. Isaiah 43:2