Sanctity of Life. Then and Now.

I will never forget when I realized the significance and the meaning of Sanctity of Life. It was one day in January of 1991. My mom and I were making a run to the mall and we always took the Grand Ave. exit. As we approached Central Christian Church something caught my eye. Hundreds of crosses littered the property of the church. Then something else caught my eye. It was an explanation as to why the crosses were there. They were placed in the ground to memorialize the babies that were aborted the previous year. It then became painfully clear that one of those crosses represented my baby whose life I chose to end just five months earlier. It was also at that time that I came out of the relief and denial stage of what I had done. Anger set in. Anger at this church for making me feel like I had no heart, anger at the doctor who referred me to the abortion clinic, anger at the abortion clinic for not counseling me or offering an ultra sound so that I could see that there was indeed a life growing inside of me, anger at my parents for not having the faith that we could still make it with a baby, anger at the father for abandoning me and making me feel like I had no choice, but most of all I was angry at myself because in the end the choice was mine. I chose to end the life of my child.

I could have told my parents that I wanted to keep her. I could have ran out of that abortion clinic and never looked back. I could have told that doctor “no thanks” when he gave us the number to the clinic and I could have certainly made it just fine without the father’s support but I didn’t do any of these things and I was left to deal with the consequences of the choice I made. The “what ifs” didn’t matter anymore.

It was on this day that I made a mental note that this was a day that was recognized every year so I made sure the following years to turn my head when driving by this church thinking as long as I didn’t see it then I could pretend it was just another day. I also learned which Sunday my church would be recognizing Sanctity of Life and I would make sure I was sick on that day.



But today I walk in freedom all because of a living Savior. Jesus is my Hero and I am His daughter. A daughter who He loves so much that He shed His blood for me and its that blood that has been washed over me and has cleansed me of my painful choice. Yes, Jesus hung on that cross and died an excruciating death so that I would be forgiven of all my sin, even for choosing to end the life of my unborn daughter. There’s a song out right now by Tenth Avenue North called “You Are More”. The lyrics speak specifically to the women who have made painful choices in their past and it offers hope and redemption through the love of Christ. The following words are my favorite part of the song because I know firsthand that these words stand true.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
you are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
you are more than the problems you create,
you’ve been remade.


I have been remade. God dried my tears and took the broken pieces of my heart and carefully and perfectly mended those pieces into a perfect clean heart with no evidence that it was ever broken

Today when Sanctity of Life comes around I don’t feel pain anymore. Instead I feel His love as He holds me close and I will march on and run the race God has called me to run and I will do this until its completion, whenever that might be.